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Let's see, doo rag, check! asian tatt, check!
now what else do I need to show I'm hard...?
So New York Football Giants receiver, Plaxico Burress (pictured above) shot himself in the leg, accidentally while at a club in NYC last night. (tmz)
Below are my initial thoughts;
Thought #1:
stupid.
Thought #2:
I know receivers don't like safeties but that's ridiculous.
Thought #3:
moron.
Thought #4:
it's a metaphor, not an instruction, you fool!
Thought #5:
earlier that night the Giants' receiver corp told him, "you think you're fast but how fast would you be with a bullet in your leg..."
Thought #6:
Loaded with free time as result of his hamstring injury, Plaxico had been catching up on his movie watching, recently checking out the Oliver Stone film "W". He enjoyed it and was then inspired to watch "JFK" (which he heard was good but had never seen due to his opinion that Kevin Costner is overvalued when compared to his output). Soon after watching the "Zapruder sequence" in JFK, Plaxico became entranced by the concept of a "Magic Bullet" one that would defy logic and change history.
Later that night at an NYC nightclub his childlike curiosity and one too many fuzzy navels got the best of him, he reached into his pocket for the cold steel nestled there, focused on his injured hamstring and took a shot in the dark.
Finally, how perfect would it have been if as they wheeled Plaxico out the club the DJ played this:
Valuable resource of Plaxico news summaries...
ReplyDeleteHilarious! I'm so sick of going back and forth about Plaxico and his dumbass decision making. But as a hardcore Giants fan, I will miss his dominant ability as a receiver. What I won't miss is his alligator arms when it was time to extend for a pass over the middle or his half-ass efforts when it came time to play defense on an interception. I know we can win without him but it doesn't remove the feeling that I have that this will join the ranks as one of the foolishly trajic sports stories ever told. :-/
ReplyDeleteyou know, i'm wit you on this except for one thing, I wouldn't call it tragic, it's pathetic. Tragic is Roberto Clemente flying supplies to D.R. after a hurricane and his plane crashing, him dying, peak of his career. Or Reggie Lewis dying unexpectedly or even Joe Theisman having L.T. snap his leg like a cheap match. Those are tragic, Plax very sad but not a tragedy for anybody but him and his family.
ReplyDelete