No Justice Just Police

Saddened.

That's my feeling right now in the wake of the Sean Bell killing and not guilty (on all counts) verdict. I am sad at the loss, the powerlessness the family specifically and people in the minority feel as a whole. Sad that the status-quo is maintained at all a costs. And sad that after dozens of unjustifiable deaths at the hands of NYPD...

Sean Bell - 2006

Timothy Stansbury Jr. - 2002

Patrick Doresmond - 2000

Amadou Diallo - 1999

Elenore Bumpers - 1984

(and many more)

...that I don't have the energy to be angry right now.
I'm just too tired of this happening over and again, which makes me sad.

(added)

you see I am sitting in my office, where I am expected to do.. something... but that thing has nothing clearly connected to do with making changes in society or expressing rage and intellect at injustice.

What I need to(and supposed to) do now is focus on work and work this out later.

And the only way to do that is to subdue the most intense of my reactions to this disgusting reality of American life, and act as if it doesnt sicken me. Because this is what it is. Because to allow my true feelings to consume me, to express in any way other than to type away (seemingly meaninglessly) at this blog, and to allow the fact that shooting wildly doesn't constitute recklessness when you are shooting at non-white people in poor or high crime neighborhoods, to allow all that to get at me would make it even less likely for me to come up with some positive way to get through this one and be ready for the next time this happens. And hopefully it won't be me or anyone I know, but it will be somebody.