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Friday, May 24, 2013

Drawer Dropping - Mr Weiner, please, holster that Mayoral bid.

Sigh, look at the headline up there.

Is that what brought you here? Is that all it takes to titillate our minds, motivate our hands, get us to the box, the ballot box? Mr. Weiner, I think you're hoping so.

Anthony, you've disgraced yourself. How can seriously run for Mayor as anything other than a testament to the enduring chutzpah of a born and bred New Yorker?

Mayor. Mayor? No.

Can I see you as flaunter of the deadly duo, collective amnesia/public apathy? Yes. Poster child for Fuggedabout it? Good God, Yes!

Look at that headline. You've knocked off any other reference to "weiner" from google's image search. Doesn't that tell you something? All press isn't actually good press.

Ya know, I'd much rather be blogging about setting the waters of the Gowanus Canal ablaze as luxury hotels are built on it's banks. But you Sir demand my attention and I say, serious Mayoral candidate? GTFOHWTBS!

Brother Weiner, as a man, the urge to introduce and master your Johnson, on-toward the young female masses, is one I struggle with everyday. Every, day. But c'mon man, you went so far across the red line, yours must have looked like a traffic cone. You successfully diverted progress (albeit temporarily) from national political discourse with your package displaying scandal. Then your handling of it, the dodging, the lies, the righteousness, made it worse by a factor of at least two.

No matter how iDeviced-Zombized we are, all it takes it one finger swipe to bring it all back.

Mr. Weiner, I enjoyed you as a Congressmen. I liked that tenacity was an understatement in describing you. You were the Democratic pit-bull, barking loudly and intelligently on the Sunday talk shows. Not only unafraid to snarl, spew, and spit at the Bush administration, but you communicated the clear sense that if you were loosed from your chain you'd bite the shit of him and take out Cheney with your last growl.

But friend, let us be reasonable. You're not getting elected. Part of your reintroduction came with the self-admitted ticking time bomb that in the days to come "women may come forward with more emails, photos, DMs". Really.

I get it. You and some consultants ran a poll that says the current Mayoral candidates are weak. Duh hard to be strong when one guy sucks the air out of the office for twelve years. Now you want to suck up much oxygen from the candidates. Some whom, I'd really like to see have a clean shot at the office (Bill De Blasio). So you yours did some math that says you can get a run-off and worm your way in. You won't. You will distract from serious questions I have about Speaker Quinn (three terms eh, okay...) and you won't get elected.

You already felt so embowered to do what you want that you besmirched a woman who besides being wholly in your corner; wife, mother, partner, is highly intelligent (how did you get her?) and dare I say it, pretty darn foxy (TO SAY THE LEAST). You felt so embolden that in the face of your lies you chose to circle the wagons and ignore your party's (polite at first) calls for you to resign. And now you feel so singular that after all that you want to distract New York City away from more suitable candidates. I get it, you are an island.

Okay big shot, run as an independent. Clearly you think you're a hot-dog.

Happy Memorial Day weekend all, and enjoy your weiner roasts.


  1. Honestly, what he did with his personal life doesn't bother me as it didn't break any laws (see: Spitzer, Elliot).
    What does bother me is that when it all went down, instead of living up to the tough guy image he tried to portray and face the music, he lied...and lied and lied until he got painted into a corner, then he cried.
    Then there was his toying with running for Mayor, but then he found out Quinn gave Bloomberg a shot at a third term. Rather then roll his sleeves up and fight, Weiner punked out and didn't run. Now, as you pointed out, because there doesn't seem to be one strong candidate, he's running cause he thinks his name recognition will help him win.
    What's ironic is that he's a man who claims to love this city, but he may end up hurting it by taking away votes from legitimate candidates like De Blasio, allowing vipers like Quinn to possibly win this.

  2. Jose, I agree with the fact that whatever he want's to screw up in his life he's free to do. What compelled me to write is I get and indication of character behind his actions that make him unworthy of consideration for Mayor in my book.

    Which isn't to say he should care what i think and not run, but if he really wants to give it a go, without the strategy of being a huge media circus causing distraction that allows him to split the votes of serious contenders, he should let the Dems have their primary and then be just as independent as he was in causing problems in his life, and run independently. Then if anyone cares, they'll vote for him. Of course he wont because he'd rather (fill in the uncomplimentary allegory here).


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